Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Please Read..Too Funny."ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS"

This little cutie pie to the left in "Maynard Chino".
He is one of our 5 companion animals. This picture is just absolutely adorable, and everytime I see it I just want to laugh because he is a 4 lb. furball that is so like a child. Too smart for his own good, and absolute love muffin. Later I will blog more upon all of furballs, but I just love this pic cause it is so like Maynard with all his personality.....*S*
Please enjoy the following post as it was sent to me a few months ago, and I laughed so hard that I couldn't read it all the way through without stopping. I laughed so hard my ribs hurt for days. When something is so funny it has just got to be shared. Since my place of employment was such a angry and sad place to be I wasn't comfortable to share even this hysterical laugh with co workers. So since I no longer work right now...I will share with those who have a sense of humor.....everybody else......*S* Enjoy!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ONLY A MAN WOULD ATTEMPT THIS,

Just try reading this without laughing till you cry!!!

Pocket Tazer Stun Gun, a great gift for the wife. A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary told me this:

Last weekend I saw something at Larry's Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking for a little something extra for my wife Julie. What I came across was a 100,000-volt, pocket/purse- sized tazer. The effects of the tazer were supposed to be short lived, with no long-term adverse affect on your assailant, allowing her adequate time to retreat to safety.....??

WAY TOO COOL!

Long story short, I bought the device and brought it home.. I loaded two AAA batteries in the darn thing and pushed the button. Nothing! I was disappointed. I learned, however, that if I pushed the button and pressed it against a metal surface at the same time; I'd get the blue arc of electricity darting back and forth between the prongs.

AWESOME!!!

Unfortunately, I have yet to explain to Julie what that burn spot is on the face of her microwave.

Okay, so I was home alone with this new toy, thinking to myself that it couldn't be all that bad with only two triple-A batteries, right? There I sat in my recliner, my cat Gracie looking on intently (trusting little soul) while I was reading the directions and thinking that I really needed to try this thing out on a flesh & blood moving target. I must admit I thought about zapping Gracie (for a fraction of a second) and thought better of it. She is such a sweet cat. But, if I was going to give this thing to my wife to protect herself against a mugger, I did want some assurance that it would work as advertised.. Am I wrong?

So, there I sat in a pair of shorts and a tank top with my reading glasses perched delicately on the bridge of my nose, directions in one hand, and tazer in another. The directions said that a one-second burst would shock and disorient your assailant; a two-second burst was supposed to cause muscle spasms and a major loss of bodily control; a three-second burst would purportedly make your assailant flop on the ground like a fish out of water. Any burst longer than three seconds would be wasting the batteries.

All the while I'm looking at this little device measuring about 5" long, less than 3/4 inch in circumference; pretty cute really and (loaded with two itsy, bitsy triple-A batteries) thinking to myself, 'no possible way!' What happened next is almost beyond description, but I'll do my best.. .?

I'm sitting there alone, Gracie looking on with her head cocked to one side as to say, 'don't do it dipshit,' reasoning that a one second burst from such a tiny little ole thing couldn't hurt all that bad. I decided to give myself a one second burst just for heck of it. I touched the prongs to my naked thigh, pushed the button, and . . . . . . . . PICTURE THIS!!!

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD . . WEAPONS OF MASS DESTRUCTION . . . WHAT THE HELL!!!

I'm pretty sure Jessie Ventura ran in through the side door, picked me up in the recliner, then body slammed us both on the carpet, over and over and over again. I vaguely recall waking up on my side in the fetal position, with tears in my eyes, body soaking wet, both nipples on fire, testicles nowhere to be found, with my left arm tucked under my body in the oddest position, and tingling in my legs? The cat was making meowing sounds I had never heard before, clinging to a picture frame hanging above the fireplace, obviously in an attempt to avoid getting slammed by my body flopping all over the living room.

Note: If you ever feel compelled to 'mug' yourself with a tazer, one note of caution: there is no such thing as a one second burst when you zap yourself! You will not let go of that thing until it is dislodged from your hand by a violent thrashing about on the floor.. A three second burst would be considered conservative?

IT HURT LIKE HELL!!!

A minute or so later (I can't be sure, as time was a relative thing at that point), I collected my wits (what little I had left), sat up and surveyed the landscape. My bent reading glasses were on the mantel of the fireplace. The recliner was upside down and about 8 feet or so from where it originally was. My triceps, right thigh and both nipples were still twitching. My face felt like it had been shot up with Novocain, and my bottom lip weighed 88 lbs. I had no control over the drooling.

Apparently I pooped on myself, but was too numb to know for sure and my sense of smell was gone. I saw a faint smoke cloud above my head which I believe came from my hair. I'm still looking for my nuts and I'm offering a significant reward for their safe return!

P.S. My wife, can't stop laughing about my experience, loved the gift, and now regularly threatens me with it!

If you think education is difficult, try being stupid

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Being who you are with dignity and patience.

When you live in todays world it comes at a price when trying to communicate on the internet. Whether it is doing business or enjoying your passion and interest it does not matter. The price exist in small inconviences to invasions of privacy to out and out attacks. This is called living in todays world. It comes at a cost.
I have LiveJournal page that I started in 2009 in an attempt to deal with another round of the dreaded "internet trolls/stalkers" . I know it did little if anything but calm my frustration at the time. Years of frustration that is. For my crazy duo were not just my terrors from hell, but another innocent victims as well. I keep his identity private as he has been gotten far more abuse than I had ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish this hell on anyone ever. It is a nightmare that follows you online no matter where you go if you happen to have these real life demons stalking you through the internet. I can promise you this though, that if they have a twisted view of the world they can be most dedicated in their pursuit in making your life a living hell.
I will give you the link on my LiveJournal that if you have an interest in to the hell that began in 1998, and still continues to this day. That scariest of all is that I know who these nutjobs are, and I damn tired of trying to live my life with them breathing down the back of my neck everywhere I go. Hopefully the lik will work. If not, just leave a comment and I will send it to you.
here is the link: "Pommawolf....The Real One...."

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

A Whole New World...not a workaholic anymore.

It was about the week before Christmas of 2010 that I decided I had had enough of being a slave to my job. Especially a slave to the corporate monster that had taken over not only my life, but my soul mates life as well. We both worked for the same monster, but my husband had been with them longer.


We all have to work in order to meet our daily survival needs, but when you get up every morning with your ass dragging to the edge of the bed in protest you know there are deep questions to ask yourself. When your feet touch that cold bedroom floor of your work in process home, and your mind quickly speeds forward to the next task at hand with your shoulders curling forward in revulsion ..... your soul speaks up ....it is just time to stop the bullshit of denial.
I look out my bedroom window to see the awesome sight of a female moose wandering across our property for her morning breakfast. My mind says enough already. It is now time for life priorities, and figuring out just what is important in my life. Not just my life, but my soul mates as well.

How can you wake up with deep dread knotted in your stomach just knowing that life is speeding by like an Arctic winter wind. Life is too short, and I want to enjoy the world around me without regrets and what ifs. This is just the beginning what I had intended when I started this blog. To do what I want, when I want, and share all of my small piece of the world. Not only mine piece....but my soul mate's part in it. Our life living our dreams.

I hope you enjoy the moose.....*S* I had this picture along with many other in my camera since the day I quit my job. I pack my camera everywhere since the photo opts are ever present when you live in Alaska. The Kindle and the digital camera are in the bag everywhere I go. Yes... you can live in the interior of Alaska and enjoy the modern gadgets. But I still don't have a continuous wireless connection since there are not enough cell towers this far north. Well off to play on the net and hopefully I will stick to my guns and post daily to share my little world with those that actually take an interest. Have a great day folks. Who knows. Maybe I'll even post more than once a day. There are always possibilities...*S*